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Am I Healing?

This is a very common question.

You may have asked yourself, “Are there ways to measure my healing?”

There are some signs that your grief work is helping. You just need to recognize these signs and realize that you’re working through your grief, even if it doesn’t always feel that way.

You may notice that you’re experiencing a lessening of the frequency, intensity and duration of your pain. Maybe you’re finally realizing you had no attachment to the outcome, and you recognize that all that could have been done was done.

Sometimes you might find yourself saying that your loved one is “dead”, not that “he left me” or “she’s gone.” This is a sign that you‘re facing the reality of the situation.

Healing is all about a change in focus. Learning to live with the never-to-be-answered questions and living in the present.

Knowing that things will never be the same.

When the fog begins to lift, and the dust begins to settle, you realize that life goes on, and still consists of happy and enjoyable moments. You actually start to feel good about feeling good. You make time for fun and laughter, while celebrating your good memories that will always stay with you.

Here’s the thing……you can’t recognize you’re healing if you don’t step back from your grief long enough to see it.

I’m not suggesting it’s easy, but reinvesting your energies in new projects and new choices will give you a renewed sense of life. A purpose. A reason to go on.

Healing isn’t forcing the sun to shine, but letting go of that which blocks the light.

It’s my hope that signs of healing continue to shine in your life, on the good days…..and the not so good days.

Gary Sturgis – “Surviving Grief”