Grief has no time frame and is not linear! I have been fortunate so far that no one has told me to move on or that I should be over it. I talk to and read about others who have had these and other unkind or unhelpful words spoken to them. David Kessler says that when someone asks us “how long are you planning to grieve?” We should respond with “as long as my person is dead.”

I have given myself permission to mourn since Richard died. I have also sought professional help. I have a few close friends who I can share my feelings with (they don’t try to fix me). We don’t have to do this alone but we also need to ensure we aren’t letting others dictate how we grieve and mourn.

Tom Zuba says that the death of someone we love “cracks us open.” Let’s build a world where we give ourselves and others time to grieve, mourn, heal and slowly put ourselves back together.