I found Tom Zuba on line shortly after Richard died. I started following his page and reading his books. I am sure that this changed the trajectory of my grief and how I mourned and continue to mourn. One of the most profound things I learned is that joy and grief can sit side by side. These feelings (as well as all of my other feelings are not mutually exclusive). Words matter and if I say I will never be happy or joyful again, I won’t. I will alway miss Richard and be sad (some days devastated) because he died. But I will also laugh, enjoy nature, take pleasure in a steamy cup of coffee, cherish time with our girls and friends.