Alan Wolfelt explains the difference between grief and mourning:

Grief is the constellation of internal thoughts and feelings we have when someone we love dies. Think of grief as the container. It holds your thoughts, feelings, and images of your experience when someone you love dies. In other words, grief is the internal meaning given to the experience of loss.

Mourning is when you take the grief you have on the inside and express it outside yourself. Another way of defining mourning is “grief gone public” or “the outward expression of grief.” There is no one right or only way to mourn. Talking about the person who died, crying, expressing your thoughts and feelings through art or music, journaling, praying, and celebrating special anniversary dates that held meaning for the person who died are just a few examples of mourning. Making the choice to not just grieve but authentically mourn provides you with the courage and confidence to integrate the death of someone loved into your life.

I’m very thankful that I have taken the time to actively and intentionally mourn Richard’s death. It is not easy or fun, but I know it is what I need to do to heal my heart, mind, and spirit. I’ve mentioned finding Tom Zuba online very soon after Richard died. His books and participation in his groups/classes changed how I dealt with my grief.