I think about this at times. I think about it from two perspectives: his and mine.

What do I think he wants for me? I am 100% sure that he wants me to be happy; that he wants me to be okay! How do I know this? Because that is what I would want for him if I had died first. I would want him to be kind to himself, to be “here” for our girls, to be happy! I strive to do these things each day. Even now, after almost 18 months, it seems unreal that this is my new life. But each day, I am grateful for so much. I bring him along with he on my daily journey. I strive to be happy and if happy is out of reach in the moment, I strive to be okay.