Time has been so strange since Richard’s death. It seems like yesterday and forever at the same time. There are blocks of time that I have very little or no memory of. In my mind I measure every incident as before his death and after his death. I don’t do this to be morbid, but that is how my mind measures time now.
I read something about time being a human construct and illusion. This feels true when it comes to grieving. Maybe it keeps us from completely falling apart.
After a little over two years, I do feel like I’m becoming “unstuck.”
I would be interested in hearing if and how others have experienced the freezing of time around death, grief, and loss.
Frozen In Time
Grief can hit you in ways you never imagined possible.
That’s why you have to take all the time you need to process your thoughts and emotions…so you can come to terms with this new world you suddenly stumbled into, and not by choice.
Not only does the world look and feel different…but you feel different. It’s as if all of a sudden you have this new identity…and got no instructions on how you’re supposed to act and feel.
Here’s the thing…it’s as if life as you know it has stopped…and you’re frozen in time.
The only way you can survive is to let your mind go through all the feelings of confusion, panic, anger and frustration…even when you’re looking for someone or something to blame for your loss.
Doing this can help your mind and heart make sense of what happened…and accept that there’s nothing you can do to change the outcome.
Eventually…time will unfreeze…and all the bad feelings will be less painful…and you’ll find a way to live in this new world…with your new self.
Gary Sturgis – “Surviving Grief”
Gina’s thoughts on life, death, and in between 