This is our 4th Christmas since Richard died.

I am going to share a few thoughts about this below:

2020 – This first Christmas was a blur! We were in survival mode. It was 2020 so we were in our “bubble” and really just got through it the best way that we could. It was during this time that I took a class “Preparing for the holidays” with Tom Zuba. This class helped me learn how to approach the first Christmas and every special/important day since in a different way. I am so grateful that I took this class because it changed my approach for every holiday/important day moving forward. We were very intentional to look for joy and to have gratitude during this first Christmas. We talked about Richard. We included him in every way that we could. But we were deeply mourning so of course it was tough! Our only decoration for 2020 is below. This tree is a representation of where we were that year.

2021 – The next Christmas we decorated a bit more. We had our annual Yaya and family Christmas gathering. Everyone who came wrote a memory of Richard with pictures to go with them. We opened each one and read them. What a wonderful gift. I was so happy that my friends and my family found a way to include Richard and continue to until this day. It means so much to me when people share stories about him and do not shy away from talking about him.

2022 – Our third Christmas was a whirlwind. We were preparing for Layla and Jared’s wedding that was taking place January 14th. Anna had graduated from cosmetology school in March and was busy with her new job. Life continued to march forward. I’m sure we decorated but I can’t find many pictures.

2023 – This Christmas is very different for us. Our girls are building beautiful lives of their own. Layla earned a doctorate. Anna rented her first grown up apartment. We have grown and learned so much over the past 3+ years. We will always miss Richard’s physical presence, the way he could make us laugh, his happiness because our girls were home, etc. But we are moving forward, making new memories while having so much gratitude for past memories. We will continue to include him in our lives and our special days.

I’m thankful for the life that Richard and I built. I’m thankful for our amazing daughters and wonderful son in law. I’m so grateful to have friends and family in my life.

I believe the pictures of our decorations below, when compared to our 2020 decorations, represent how we are healing and growing around our grief.

I hope everyone who reads this has a wonderful Christmas! Take time to enjoy being with your family and friends.

I’ll end with a graphic that I believe is a very accurate representation of my grief journey over the past 3 years.