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There is nothing

nothing

easy about learning to live with the death of someone you love

dearly.

There are no quick fixes.

You must let grief unfold as it will.

You must meet grief as it is.

You must make space for it.

Honor it.

Examine it.

Be with it.

But you must not fear grief.

Grief is actually one of our greatest teachers.

Learn all you can from it.

It this task easy?

No.

No.

No.

This is some of the hardest work you will ever do.

But you have already walked through fire

and you can do it again.

💛💛💛



My first book

Permission to Mourn

is available at amazon.

Click here: https://www.amazon.com/Permission-Mourn-New-Way-Grief/dp/1600475655/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1471916071&sr=8-1&keywords=tom+zuba

I love the concept of the message in this picture. We continue to tell stories about Richard. We laugh at funny things he did or said on a regular basis. I just read the book: Confessions of a Funeral Director. The author writes about death-positive or death-negative narratives. Western culture lives with a death-negative culture. As a culture, we are discouraged from talking about our deceased loved ones. But death is a fact of living and life. I’m not saying it’s easy or that i like it. It’s hard and I would rather he be living. But that is not my reality. So I will continue to to bring him along, to share his stories, to say his name.

www.facebook.com/100046988926897/posts/504368674472759/

“And the day came

when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.” ~ Anaïs Nin

Regardless of your beliefs … this is the season of resurrection, rebirth, and renewal.

Saying YES is a choice. At first it may seem like an impossible choice … but you can do it.

You must lean in.

Timidly.

Fearfully.

Gently.

Lean in.

Let your mantra be YES.

As often as possible

stop and say yes.

Even if it’s just a whisper.

Say yes.

To you.

To the person you love that died.

To love.

To possibility.

To healing.

To life itself.

Say YES.

Let YES be your mantra.

💛💛💛

My first book

Permission to Mourn

is available on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Permission-Mourn-New-Way-Grief/dp/1600475655/ref=cm_cr_arp_d_product_top?ie=UTF8

I think about this at times. I think about it from two perspectives: his and mine.

What do I think he wants for me? I am 100% sure that he wants me to be happy; that he wants me to be okay! How do I know this? Because that is what I would want for him if I had died first. I would want him to be kind to himself, to be “here” for our girls, to be happy! I strive to do these things each day. Even now, after almost 18 months, it seems unreal that this is my new life. But each day, I am grateful for so much. I bring him along with he on my daily journey. I strive to be happy and if happy is out of reach in the moment, I strive to be okay.

www.facebook.com/100046988926897/posts/495912421985051/

Well-meaning people tell us that

“Happiness is a choice.”

We see beautiful images

accompanying the words

“Choose Joy”

inviting us

challenging us

almost demanding that we

feel something other than what we are feeling.

Really feeling.

So we fake it

at times

to make them happy.

When someone we love

dearly

dies

it is okay to be sad.

It is okay to be “not happy.”

It is okay to wonder if you will ever

ever

ever feel joy again.

It’s all okay.

Give yourself permission

to feel

all the feelings and emotions

that bubble up.

Remind yourself over and over and over

that each feeling has a beginning

a middle

and an end.

Remind yourself that you are not your feelings.

They are currents of energy running through your body.

It is okay to be sad.

Someone you love

dearly has died.

Giving yourself permission to be sad

ensures that you will not always be sad.

If you feel it

the sadness will not stay forever.

Be oh so gentle with yourself.

💛💛💛