Death is a change of perspective .

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In order to heal

if healing is truly your intention

sooner or later

you must create a safe

sacred space

a quiet space

where you can encounter your self.

If healing is truly your intention

sooner or later

you will have to stop running

from life.

Your life.

If healing is truly your intention

sooner or later

you will have to admit

that “keeping busy”

is not the path to healing.

The path to healing is encountering YOU.

So you can listen

to the story

you are telling yourself

and the world

about what you’ve lived through.

The death of your beloved.

Much of the pain you are experiencing

is rooted in the beliefs

you have chosen

consciously or subconsciously

to cling to.

When you are quiet

and still

your beliefs rise to the surface

and you can examine them.

One

by one

by one.

But only if your intention is to heal.

You may discover that some of these beliefs

rise up inside you ~

His life was cut short.

She was taken too soon.

I’ve been robbed of so many wonderful years with him.

I’ll never forgive myself.

I never got to say good-bye.

She shouldn’t have suffered that way.

He is gone forever.

I should have saved her.

These are all beliefs that create incredible pain.

Perhaps you are holding on to one

or more of these beliefs.

Perhaps you are holding on to other

equally painful beliefs.

Set some time aside today

to encounter YOU

and your beliefs.

If you’re able

take the first step to freedom

by sharing one of your painful beliefs with us.

💛💛💛

If these words resonate

my first book

Permission to Mourn is

available at Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Permission-Mourn-New-Way-Grief/dp/1600475655/ref=cm_cr_arp_d_product_top?ie=UTF8

www.insider.com/son-died-10-years-ago-love-for-him-never-stopped-2022-2

They are not lost

The relationship continues

A few things I’ve learned over the past 14 months:

1. Healing is not a destination-I will not wake up one day and be healed.

2. Grief is my teacher.

3. In order to heal, I must actively mourn. Each day I mourn. Yesterday I mourned that I did not have my life partner here physically to help with a decision about a home repair. It is difficult to make these decisions alive when you’ve spent your adult life making them with someone. After journaling, I felt better and grateful that I am capable of making these decisions.

4. Even while mourning, I have a heart filled with joy and gratitude.

5. Death does not end the relationship.

I go along for days doing okay. Then out of nowhere, there’s a pit that I stumble into. I keep thinking about watching Gilligan’s Island as a kid. Someone would be running along and boom, they would fall into a pit. That is how I feel when I find myself in this pit of despair. When I’m in this pit, I begin to feel overwhelmed, sad, lonely, and lost. Sometimes I just want to stay here and not come out. I know that feeling won’t last, so I try different strategies to climb out. One is this blog. Others include journaling, reading devotionals, sitting quietly, praying, or napping. I know grief is not linear and I know I’ll climb out of this pit. I think these low points are a necessary part of the journey so I will endure until the light breaks through.

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By Gary Sturgis – “Surviving Grief ”

Joy

My spouse and I used to talk about who would die first.

(We actually joked about it.)

It was a weird thing to do, but we just figured we had our entire lives ahead of us. Even though we talked about it…we never really thought it would actually happen. It was only something that happened to other people…not to us.

If it did inevitably happen…it would be much later in life.

We finally compromised and decided that if we couldn’t die at the same exact time in our sleep as we planned, then I would have to go first. I was the one that was taken care of and pampered. I could never go it alone.

But I didn’t die first.

Here’s the thing…no one can prepare you for becoming a widow or widower. It’s one of the most difficult losses you can endure.

Losing your spouse means the loss of the future you planned together. The loss of intimacy. The loss of income. The loss of security. The loss of health. The loss of your social circle. The loss of your best friend and confidant.

There isn’t a single part of your life that’s untouched by the loss of your spouse.

But as time marches on you find your way from grief to healing. You learn to find joy, while living with grief.

It’s hard to see that in the beginning when the loss feels so dark and raw. When you first feel joy, you also feel guilty for laughing or being happy when your spouse is no longer able to laugh or be happy.

But the joy will eventually come and that doesn’t mean the grief goes away…it just means you’ve learned to balance both.

You’ve learned to expand yourself to a point where you’ll feel more than you thought possible. You’ve learned how fragile life is and that creates a sense of urgency to live.

Carrying grief gives you a perspective on life that others who have yet to experience such a loss will ever understand.

Grief is hard…but you’ll find your strength and joy again.

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“I miss having a partner. A best friend who you can be your complete self around. A “go-to” person. The one you cannot wait to tell the gossip to. Or the big news–bad and good. The person that drives you absolutely crazy but you wouldn’t trade it for anything. I miss seeing my name next to his on invitations or signing both of our names on holiday cards. I miss walking into parties together and saving each other a seat…I miss picturing every future milestone with a person. Planning a life with that person. I miss having a person. My person. ” – Victoria Helmly, Widow’s Voice

I miss having a person.

#ssiwritersgetit

Each day I pray for peace that transcends understanding. I’m always amazed that I receive this peace and I accept it with great gratitude!

I wear a bracelet with the serenity prayer. When I look down and see it, I find a degree of comfort and peace.

Throughout the past almost 15 months, I have embraced my grief. I believe in doing this, my heart and souls heals a bit each day. Some days are harder than others but I know that is part of the grief journey. I am grateful that early on, I learned that grief is not my enemy. It is a part of the love that I feel for Richard! If you love someone and they die, you will grieve. Tom Zuba says we can choose peace over pain. As I grieve, I choose peace whenever possible.